Today is one of the most important days of the year. No, it’s not a day to drink beer, eat grilled burgers, and watch colorful explosives in the hot muggy nighttime sky. (Well, okay, it is…)

The main point of today is to celebrate the origins of our country. To remember where we came from and what made the United States great at one point. I have hope that the November election will help right the wrongs of the past eight years and put this country back on a good track.

Every year, without fail, I read the document that started all this. Beginning with the opening line, “When in the course of human events it becomes necessary…” and continuing through the accusations against George III, and through all the signatures (yes, I really read the names). Every. Single. Year.

If you’re interested in doing the same, click here.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

Hello everyone! Micah here — blogging since Aunt Jen is too tired. Want to see how cute I look in Aunt Jen’s Blogging Throne? Check me out:

Aunt Jen is such a wimp. All we did was play for three hours. That’s it. I don’t know why she’s so tired. We didn’t even go up and down the stairs, because Aunt Jen barricaded them before I arrived:

I’m not really sure why she did that. She can totally trust me, really she can.

So, with the stairs no longer an entertainment option, I went to my favorite cabinet to get something to play with. Uh oh.

Rubber bands are excellent for ad hoc childproofing.

Wow, she really doesn’t trust me.

[Aunt Jen's note: No, I don't. And with good reason.]

Darn.

Oh well, there were plenty of other things to do.

Did you know my cousin Graceful plays the cello?

But I couldn’t get it open so, I headed for Uncle Pete’s stereo:

I’m quite verbal for a 15 month old. Every time Aunt Jen told me “no no” I responded by saying “nay nay.” Technically, not the same word, but I loved seeing how thrilled Aunt Jen was. She’s so easy.

I let Aunt Jen help me fix lunch:

Aunt Jen told me I couldn’t have Cadbury’s for lunch, which was such a bummer. Actually, now that I think about it, I didn’t even get any after lunch.

After lunch, I like to read a good book. But first I had to find one:

Ahhh, The Big Red Barn. Excellent. I seriously don’t understand why this didn’t get a Nobel Prize or at least the National Book Award.

After a while, I decided to change books and asked Aunt Jen to help me with The Very Busy Spider.

We carefully studied the book at least four or five times. That last time, the story seemed a little different. Something about the very busy spider selling crack to the barnyard animals. That didn’t seem right to me, but Aunt Jen and Uncle Pete were laughing, so it must have been some sort of humor I’m not familiar with.

Speaking of humor, Aunt Jen thought it would be funny to mess with my rockin’ mullet.

First, she gave me a ponytail:

Later on, she gave me two of ‘em:

I think Aunt Jen needs to grow up.

Do you know what Aunt Jen calls this piece of furniture:

My Precious!?!? I thought *I* was her precious.

Guess what else I did! I found my cousin Elegant’s stickers:

Well, that’s all I have time for. Catch ya next time!

XOXO,

The Boy

Aunt Jen’s notes: For anyone who’s interested, a little video! This one is very short, but you get to see a little dancing, followed by the Boy signing and saying “more” which he often does when he’s hungry. This one is also very short and involves the Boy’s newest form of dance, which I find to be very similar to Tai Chi.

]]> http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/exhausted-jen/feed/ JenOnTheEdge http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/the-new-cure-all/ http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/the-new-cure-all/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:57:17 +0000 Jennifer http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/?p=1268

If you were planning to serve watermelon as part of your holiday weekend feast, you might want to drop everything and go to the store RIGHT NOW and get a watermelon while you can. Otherwise, they’re going to be snapped up by every white guy in his 60s and no one else is ever going to be able to buy one again.  In fact, I’m predicting a run on watermelon seeds too.

A study in procrastination in 16 parts.

1. Enter home office in basement, turn on computer, and while it’s booting up, decide to get a drink of water.
2. While in the kitchen, decide to take a moment to mop, since I’m in there anyway and the linoleum is filthier than the floor of a movie theater.
3. Go back downstairs and check work emails. Delete all offers to enlarge my manhood.
4. Realize I need to pee. Back upstairs. While there, check blog for comments.
5. Go back into the home office and start working on a report. Stomach growls. Time for a snack. While eating snack, read a few more blogs. Dribble watermelon juice on white shirt. Change clothes and, while in bedroom, pop into bathroom to tweeze eyebrows.
6. Eyebrows looking bitchin’, go back to home office. Oops, should start some laundry first.
7. Laundry in progress. Perhaps I should do some actual work and write a report for the board of directors. Phone rings. It’s BFF, so I settle back for good conversation and much laughter.
8. Okay, time to get serious about work. After five minutes of arduous labor, decide to take a break. Read a few blogs.
9. Break over, time to work hard. Hmmm, this desk is messy. I should probably tidy things up first. Ugh, this filing cabinet is a disaster. Definitely should pull out all files for past two fiscal years and completely reorganize and even re-label.
10. All done. NOW I’m going to get serious about writing that report. Oh wait, it’s lunch time.
11. Eat lunch. Read blogs. Send emails to bloggy friends.
12. Back in office. Crap, just remembered I need to sign older daughter up for fall soccer. Better do it now while I’m thinking about it. Also, check blog for comments.
13. Working on report. Oops, need to pee again. Also, read a blog or two or five.
14. Back in office. You know, maybe I should hang up this extra calendar so that I can see it at a glance. Go find hammer and nail. While I have the hammer out, might as well hang some pictures.
15. Sitting at desk again. Darn, just remembered I need to put the laundry in the dryer. While in laundry room, decide to wipe down appliances so that they’re sparkly clean.
16. Back at my desk. OMFG look at the time! Must go get children from camp.  Work day over.

And that, my friends, is how I spent my Tuesday.

Hopefully, today I’ll be more focused.

Yes, it was a little chilly this morning. It’s July 1 and the high temperature today here in Virginia — which I will remind you is in the South — is supposed to be 77 with low humidity. I don’t know who transported my home state to Wisconsin, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Yes, Elegant looks a little manic in this photo. What can I say? At least she’s rockin’ that ribbony hair doodad. Really, can any of you pull of that look? I thought not.

Yes, Graceful’s smile is great. Too bad it’s soon going to cost us eleventy squillion dollars to fix said smile, so that the rest of her permanent teeth can actually come out of hiding. And I know that she has her fleece zipped up to her chin. I’ve tried, people, I’ve really tried.

Ivana Goldtooth just visited us two weeks ago and she was back to see Elegant on Sunday night. I know, I know, teeth just keep falling out of this child’s mouth.

Ivana Goldtooth left Elegant the following letter:

Dearest Elegant,

Darling! I’ve just barely caught my breath from visiting you two weeks ago and here I am visiting you again! How very exciting that your lost your sixth tooth! I’m so pleased that this one took far less time to come out; much better than the last one.

Just think — when I came to see you last time, you were about to visit your aunt and go to camp and now you’re about to start another camp this week. While you are off at camp, I will be on vacation in San Francuspid, which is a large city in Califronttooth. There are so many museums and art galleries to visit, as well as fancy stores to shop in. I’m really looking forward to being there.

Keep your teeth shiny and clean and have a terrific time this week.

Love, Ivana Goldtooth

Here’s Elegant’s very holey smile:

I’m thinking that certain foods will present a challenge for the foreseeable future.

There’s a new Mama at Mamarazzi and she has some marital advice for Madonna.

If the comments don’t work over there, please come back here and let me know what you think.

When you were a kid, did you ever have Sea Monkeys? I never did, but boy did I want some. After all, the packages always had amazing pictures like these:

Never mind that the Sea Monkeys that come in any given kit don’t actually have little scooters, those little dudes look fun!  Seriously, I’ve never seen a Sea Monkeys box that didn’t show all those little creatures partying like they were on a cruise ship and there were always those sexual undertones to really grab a person’s interest.  But I ask you, why did the Sea Monkeys marketing people always make the Sea Monkeys have pot bellies and thin gangly limbs?  There’s absolutely nothing hawt about that.  That’s just reminiscent of my geeky ninth grade science partner.

One year, Pete helped me fulfill a childhood dream by giving me my very own Sea Monkeys aquarium. Of course, the reality was that they looked not at all like the fun-loving swingers shown above and were more like something I’d stomple if it skittered across my floor:

If that’s a female, she needs lipstick, just like its little cartoon counterpart.  If it’s a male, he might want to grow some chest hair or possibly work on his British accent, as that always gets us American chicks.

Still, I maintained my little colony of Sea Monkeys until they all died, due to a cannibalistic coup that led to one lonely Sea Monkey who presumably died of boredom or possibly even tried to eat himself.

My fascination with Sea Monkeys hasn’t really abated after all this time, probably because I’m immature and just need to grow up.

So imagine my delight when I discovered this at my local Tar-zhay.

Do you see that key accessory on the bottom left?  A Sea Monkeys Wrist Aquarium! Take your Sea Monkeys with you wherever you go!!!!!  My life is now complete.

I gave serious thought to buying this for about 15 seconds, really pondering if spending a whopping $6.74 on this made-in-China plastic crap could be justified in any way, shape, or form.  I was SO tempted, I tell you. I ultimately decided that it was a bad idea, because I’d wear my little Sea Monkeys Wrist Aquarium while running errands and then would probably wreck the car because I was too busy looking down at my wrist, trying to talk to my little friends. Can you imagine me trying to explain that one to Pete? So in the interest of saving my marriage, I decided not to splurge on the Sea Monkeys Wrist Aquarium.

I was all set to tell you about this innovative marvel and then be done with it, but then in my online searches to find appropriate images, I discovered even more Sea Monkey magic!

Check these out:

• The Sea Monkeys Executive set — Complete with faux gold finishing touches.
• The Sea Monkeys Friendship locket — Nothing says BFF like a plastic locket filled with little squiggly creatures.  I’m not sure even Elegant would wear that bit of bling bling.
• The Sea Monkeys on Mars — Because nothing makes more sense than to send the Sea Monkeys to outer space.  I wonder if they come with wee space suits?
• The Ultimate Guide to Sea Monkeys — 100+ pages of information and humor (I think; I haven’t actually read it)  I don’t think this particular publication has been nominated for the National Book Award.
• Sea Monkeys t-shirts — here, here, here, and here.
• Sea Monkeys action figures — If anything is going to tempt me to give up my pledge to avoid buying plastic crapola, it’s going to be this one, but not at those prices.  Plus, I think they’re too tall; they should really only 2″-3″ max.
• Websites and blogs –the Sea Monkey Worship Page, Sea Monkey Mania, and a Sea Monkey blog.

For those of you who need an idea for Halloween costumes, I found this online:

Do you think I can talk Pete into wearing a skin-colored leotard?

For those of you who need a little something holy in your lives, I humbly offer this:

“The Last Supper.” But of course.  Do you think they take communion with salt water and seaweed?

What I’d really like to see is a little Sea Monkey Elvis, complete with rhinestone jumpsuit.

I suspect that some of you have some Sea Monkeys stories or might even know of another product I failed to find. Share your info here with the rest of us so that I’m not the only person who wasted time on this.

]]> http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/2008/06/30/sea-monkeys/feed/ JenOnTheEdge http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/2008/06/29/picky/ http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/2008/06/29/picky/#comments Sun, 29 Jun 2008 23:41:24 +0000 Jennifer http://jenontheedge.wordpress.com/?p=1264

New post at the house blog!

Elegant, “Mommy, if two’s company and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?”

Jen, “Nine.”

El, “You knew that joke already?!?”

Jen, “I was once a third grader too, you know.”

Graceful, “So that’s a really old joke?”