Jen on the Edge

Once upon a time, there was a nine-year-old girl named Jennifer who wished for a baby brother or sister. She already had a sister, but that sister wasn’t as much fun as a new baby would be. Lo and behold, the Stork heard Jennifer’s pleas and brought the family a baby when Jennifer was ten. The baby’s name was Michael and he was one of the greatest gifts ever. Having him was better than any doll in the world. Michael cried and ate and pooped and burped and did all sorts of amazing things. It also helped that Jennifer and her sister were certain he was the cutest baby EVER in the history of mankind. Two years later, the OTHER cutest baby boy in the history of mankind was born and the Jennifer and her sister were very happy.

Michael was the first baby Jennifer ever cared for and the reason she learned so much early on. It’s probable that Michael was the reason she started babysitting at the age of 12, a profession which she continued for the next ten years.

When Michael was a baby, for his first Christmas, Jennifer thought long and hard about what to get him and ultimately bought him a Kermit the Frog Christmas ornament, which really wasn’t an appropriate gift for a baby, but Jennifer thought it was great. Michael still hangs that ornament on his tree.

When Michael was one, his favorite book was The House that Jack Built and Jennifer would read it to him over and over and over and over and over and over and over.  It was sometimes the only thing that would get him to sleep.  Everyone in the family knew that book by heart, so we could even recite it to Michael in the dark.

When Michael was a toddler, Jennifer delighted in choosing his clothes and dressing him every day, followed by carefully brushing and styling his hair.  She and her sister would discuss the merits of the striped t-shirt versus another one, blue shorts versus khaki.  Should they part his hair on the side or brush it forward.  So many choices to make in dressing their doll brother.

As everyone got older, occasionally Michael would be less than angelic and would aggravate his sisters. But generally they thought he was fun.

When Jennifer was a teenager and started dating, how the young men behaved around her brothers was very important, as anyone who didn’t like the little boys was dumped immediately.  This test was sometimes rigged, as the boys would climb all over Jennifer’s dates and even sit on top of them while the entire group watched a movie together.  Anyone who couldn’t survive that was probably just a normal teenage boy, but Jennifer still held her dates accountable.

And then Jennifer went off to college and didn’t get to see her siblings as often as she’d like.  Not too many months into her college career, she brought home a guy named Pete.  He not only played with her brothers, he took them to movies and even attended their Little League games.  Pete was clearly a keeper.

The age gap between Jennifer and her younger brothers was such that she didn’t really truly get to know Michael until he ended up going to the same university she attended, which was in the town where she lived. Getting to see Michael regularly was fun, especially since by then Jennifer had babies of her own and Michael would play with them. Even better, Michael settled in that town for several years after graduation.

So Jennifer got to know Michael as an adult and she must say that she likes him a great deal. He’s intelligent and he’s very funny. He’s incredibly well-read, so he often has good books to recommend. Jennifer enjoys his company and spending time with him. And not just because she’s good friends with Michael’s wife or that she adores Michael’s son, The Boy. Oh no, Jennifer would never invite her brother and sister-in-law over just because she wants to play with The Boy.

When the Boy was first born, he looked so much like his father that Jennifer cried.  It took her months to stop accidentally calling the Boy by his father’s name.  She still does it on occasion.  With the exception of hair color, the Boy is the spitting image of the baby brother Jennifer once knew.  Oh, and the Boy is a better dancer, but that’s a story for a different time.

And so Jennifer must end this story with birthday wishes for her brother.

Michael, happy 29th birthday! Just remember, no matter how old YOU feel, I’m ten years older than that. Some consolation, right?

Happy birthday to the Guider!

Or, more accurately, Happy International Jen Day!

(If you somehow missed National Jen Day a week ago, click here.)

Since she’s Scottish, you should know that “guider” is actually pronounced more like “gayder,” which is how my husband now pronounces it whenever the Guider comes up in conversation.

Anyhoo, please wander over to the Guider’s blog and give her some birthday love.

Happy birthday Hotfessional!

Even though I know you all marked your calendars, I’d like to go ahead and remind you that today is National Jen Day.

This year, I am giving myself the gift of good health and a fit body. Read Fight the Fluffy for more about my goal for the next 365 days. (Well after today; Pete’s taking me to lunch and he’s planning an amazing dinner for tonight.)

I plan to spend the entire NOT doing those things I hate (shopping at Sam’s Club, cleaning bathrooms) and instead will do those things I love: going for a nice walk, blogging, eating lunch out with my husband, reading comments from my readers…

And it is the comment thing which I’d like to discuss with you all at this time. Some of you are kind enough to comment regularly or even semi-regularly, for which I thank you profusely. However, there is another group of people — a very very very large group of people — who lurk like lurking lurkers. I know you’re there because I can see by my stats that you visit, read, and then leave without saying hello.

So, for National Jen Day, I’d very much like for everyone to leave a comment to say hello. It seems appropriate to ask for comments from 39 different people. For anyone who comes along after 39, go ahead and say hi anyway. Let’s see how high we can go, shall we?

Thank you. And now I’m off to do something fun.

Okay people, it’s only one month until National Jen Day, so mark your calendars.

If you live in progressive states like Pennsylvania and South Carolina, start stocking up on fireworks.  (Those are the two I know of that allow people to own explosives AND then fire them off.) I feel no shame in lighting up the sky on National Jen Day. After all, what’s a holiday without fireworks? Boring, that’s what.

National Jen Day is a food day, so start planning your menus. There will be plenty of eating and drinking. I personally will be putting in a request to Chef Pete for scallops sauteed in butter and served over a bed of angel hair pasta, followed by some sort of decadent dessert.

Luckily, National Jen Day is on a Friday this year, which should allow for people to stay up late and not worry about getting up early the next day.

National Jen Day is definitely about presents. There’s none of that “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything.” I call bullshit on that one.  Pete,  now is a really good time to start thinking about my gifts, if you haven’t already. And you know the rule about wrapping presents: They cannot be handed to me in the original store bag. I don’t care about ribbons and tags, but I do draw the line at plastic bags.

So, to recap: National Jen Day is in one month. There will be food and booze and fireworks. Are we all clear? Good. Now go start planning.

Thank you.

Wow, it’s like Birthday Week out there in the blogosphere, people.  If you get a chance, go over to the Bingham Diaries and wish the MomBabe a happy 26th today!

Happy birthday to Lori — fellow blogger, talented jewelry designer, and my friend since elementary school. Because our maiden names are so similar, our lockers were next to each other every year from 7th-12th grades. We also had most of our classes together every year (smart girls unite!) and were in the marching band’s color guard together. We even double-dated to prom twice.

Lori, I could have scanned some old photos and posted them here, but I decided that no friend would cause another one to relive the glory of 1980s hair on her birthday. You’re welcome.

Have a great day Lori!

Happy birthday to ClemsonGirl, who is kvetching that she’s 33.

Young little whippersnapper, isn’t she? But we love her anyway.

Have a great day!

Easter in Jenworld started off like every other major holiday: The girls woke up earlier than usual, excited and ready to face the day. Luckily, they opted to wait patiently in their rooms until the sun rose.

Pete The Easter Bunny had hidden two dozen plastic eggs all over the living room on Saturday night — hey, we’re lazy and it was chilly outside — so the girls had to spend a grueling five minutes hunting down their eggs. We learned a couple years ago that it’s best to mark the eggs with the girls’ initials, as it cuts w-a-y back on any potential confusion or competitiveness. Some eggs had candy and some had little non-edible treats.

The Peeps-in-a-chocolate-egg were a huge hit:

Do you see the chocolate smear around her mouth?

The rest of the morning was leisurely. The girls played. Pete worked on hotel and B&B reservations for our trip. I emailed back and forth with The Guider about our plans.

After lunch, we hopped in the car and went to my brother and sister-in-law’s house. This is their first Easter in their new house, which is as good a reason as any to invite lots of family over for the day. An even better reason to have a party is the one year anniversary of the Boy’s birth.

Yep, the Boy is one year old today.

The fancy party hat is courtesy of Crazy Aunt Laura.

There were presents…

And there was a special cake, just for the Boy to demolish:

The Boy ate a little cake, smeared some on his face, and threw even more on the floor…

Because nothing says “first birthday” like cake in the hair AND the nostrils.

This photo was immediately followed by a thorough scrubbing in the bathtub. Because you know it’s not a good party unless someone ends up naked.

Even if it’s a little boy who is now one year old.

Happy Birthday to Crazy Aunt Laura!!!!

CAL, do you realize how many different ways one can say your new age? Check it out:

In Roman numerals: L

In pig latin: iftyfay

In German: funfzig

In Lincoln: two score and ten years

Without numbers: a half century

If one were slightly obnoxious: Oh no! Laura is the big five-oh!

If one were a really obnoxious niece: Oh dear gawd, Laura is over the hill.

Not that I would ever say something like that to you. Or about you. Because you are most definitely not over the hill. You are, however, a very groovy, very young aunt, whom I love a great deal. I hope your day is special. Something tells me it will be.

XO,
Jen