A hairy tale

Once upon a time there was a man with magical powers. His name was Richard the Hair God. Richard the Hair God was a talented hairdresser with enchanted scissors; he could make any person’s head of hair look uh-may-zing.

One of Richard the Hair God’s groupies was a woman named Jennifer. For years, she had had a basic short haircut. Nothing fabulous, nothing sexy, nothing that made people stop and say, “My god your hair looks incredible.” Her hair was boring and that was all that could be said about it.

Once Jennifer started visiting Richard the Hair God and having him use his enchanted scissors on her hair, all that boring-ness disappeared. Everyone except her very own husband who never once has said a word about her hair other than to comment on the cost started complimenting Jennifer on her great haircuts. In one month alone, Jennifer got more nice comments than she had in the previous decade — and that was during a month that Jennifer wasn’t 100% certain she even liked her haircut.

All those compliments could have given Jennifer a big fat swollen head to go with all that fluffy brown hair, but luckily, Jennifer’s body image issues keep everything in balance, so her ego is not in danger of inflating any further. You see, Jennifer hates her double chin and her boobs and her poochy belly and her jiggly thighs and her drooping butt. She doesn’t like her dry skin combined with her post-teenage acne. Oh, and of course she’s not wild about her nose either. And then there’s … well, the list could go on for a while, so now is a good stopping point.

But when Jennifer leaves Richard the Hair God’s magical cave, she feels happy with her appearance. She doesn’t think about the 60 pounds she’s trying to lose; instead she reminds herself to be proud of the 23 (and counting) that she’s lost already. She doesn’t dwell on the zit on her chin. She temporarily forgets about the various and assorted things she dislikes about her body. For a little while, Jennifer feels attractive.

And that, my friends, is the true magic of Richard the Hair God. He doesn’t just cut hair; he also releases inner beauty so that it is visible even to its owner, even if only for an hour or so.

The end.

21. That’s how many photos I took to get this one shot and I can still point out at least six things I don’t like about it. All the same, I’m pleased that my double chin is now down to only 1.5 chins.