Jen on the Edge

I am of the opinion that adults need to keep the promises they make to children. If children can’t count on the adults around them to do what they said they would do, who can they count on?

For example, if a young adult were to volunteer to coach a team of third grade soccer players, that means it would be his responsibility to attend all scheduled practices and all scheduled games, unless prevented by major illness or a veryveryvery important event, such as his own funeral. If this coach could not attend a practice, then it would be his responsibility to call the parents and tell them practice is canceled or ask another parent to run the practice.

Volunteering to coach a team actually involves taking on several responsibilities and keeping the promises implicit with the job:

• It means communicating with the parents regularly. ALL parents, not just a few. So if the coach is told several times that one family does not have email, it would be his responsibility to call those parents and not just hope someone passes the message along to them.
• It means showing up on time or even a little early for games or practices. It doesn’t mean showing up late or not at all.
• It means teaching the children about soccer. Helping them improve their game. Paying attention during the game and doing some coaching from the sidelines. Teaching the girls the rules. Not standing there and doing nothing during games.
• It means giving it your all, even if you lose every single game. Children don’t turn into David Beckham or Mia Hamm on their own. They need guidance.
• It means attending all games, especially the last one.

True, in this scenario, this person does not have a daughter on the team and is simply a young man who loves soccer and thought it would be fun to volunteer, but he would still have the same responsibility to the team as a parent would.

Parents of young soccer players have some responsibilities too. They need to get their children to the practices and games at the specified times. They need to take turns bringing snacks. They need to communicate with the coach regularly. And, it would be nice if they got the coach a thoughtful gift at the end of the season. Some examples would be a gift card to Starbucks if it was noticed that the coach has a coffee addiction or even a framed photo of the team with the girls’ signatures around the edges.

However, if the coach doesn’t follow through on his responsibilities, what then? What if the parents are frustrated that the coach didn’t seem to give a crap. That he didn’t do anything. That he didn’t take his responsibilities seriously and didn’t keep his promises to the children.

Then those parents would likely be irritated or even fully pissed off. It is likely that one particularly wise parent just might have predicted that the coach would skip the last game. It is also possible that the wise parent might have suggested that the parents skip buying the coach a thoughtful gif and that the other parents would agree.

But that seems unduly pessimistic. No adult would be that irresponsible as to not bother to attend the last game of the season, not tell the parents, and not say goodbye to his players. Right?

Just 24 hours after the soccer practice, the wise parent would then proven to be some kind of prophet, as it was discovered that the coach won’t be attending the last game. No email was sent out. The wise parent heard about it through word of mouth. At least the coach asked some other parents to coach. At least there was some advance notice of his lameness.

But then again, what kind of adult would make promises to little girls and then break them?

Updated to add: Since I wrote this, today’s games have been postponed because the fields are too swampy to play. I’ve emailed the coach (and copied all parents), politely asking if he’ll please let us know the details about the rescheduled game and also if we’re having practice this coming week (and if he’ll be there). We’ll see if he does the right thing.