No need to honor me
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Did you know that we do not celebrate Mother’s Day here in Jenworld? No, we really do not and I am adamant about this. No flowers, no gifts, no brunch at a crowded restaurant. Other than making phone calls to our mothers (and my stepmother), Pete and I don’t do anything else special for Mother’s Day. Ditto Father’s Day next month.
Why?
Because I just don’t like Mother’s Day. It’s a lame so-called holiday and I refuse to be a part of it any more than necessary. I won’t go so far as to not remember my mother on the day, because she chooses to celebrate it and that’s her right as a mother, but I don’t wish to celebrate it myself and won’t inflict it on my children.
Beside, if I need to be TOLD to honor and respect my mother on that one day of the year, that doesn’t say much about me as a daughter. I should be doing so every single day of the year. Beyond that,if I had a bad relationship with my mother — which I do not, as we are very close — then I would hate the moral imperative placed upon me to honor a person I do not like.
[Note: I really do not have any lingering issues with my mother. I do not. I genuinely love her as my mother, respect her as an amazing person, and enjoy her as a friend. She's a pretty cool person and also the person I would call first for help in an emergency.]
[Oh, and Mom? I totally forgot to buy cards this year. I was a bit distracted by other things and forgot about Mother's Day altogether. Mea culpa.]
The origins of Mother’s Day in the U.S. are actually interesting. It started as a call for peace and disarmament after the Civil War and was officially made a national holiday in the early 20th century. Within a decade, Mother’s Day had become so commercialized that the founders were disgusted by it and campaigned against it.
I know many of you reading this will disagree with me and it’s your right to do so. Feel free to leave comments refuting my statements or backing me up.
No matter what, I hope those of you who are mothers have a lovely day tomorrow, however you choose to celebrate it (or not). As for me, I’ll spend Sunday with my family, as I do every week, and I will simply enjoy our time together.
Updated to add: If you want to laugh so hard you’ll nearly cry, go to Derfwad Manor and watch this video. Thanks Mrs. G!
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1.
blackbird | Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 7:46 am
I can’t stand Mother’s Day.
2.
Mizmell | Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 8:55 am
Once again, you boldly speak out. I like that about you.
3.
Jennifer | Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 10:03 am
I like Mother’s Day, for two reasons. One being that it has its share of origin in my home state, and I’ve been to the church in Grafton, WV where Anna Jarvis successfully celebrated what is widely credited as the first Mother’s Day. The second reason is because its origins were pure of heart and not manufactured as most “new” holdiays are in our time.
My daughter’s birthday falls on Mother’s Day ocassionally, including this year. That’s about the most symbolic gift of all, to me.
4.
Jan | Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 11:11 am
In our family, we’re not big into mother’s day. We use to go to a diner for burgers and fries, while everyone else packed into the fancy places. This year, our family is more dispersed, I sent my Mom a creative gift, and my daughters did the same for me.
Father’s day was always big for us, when my Granddad was alive. The whole clan, who lived in Southern Calif. would gather for a picnic. Sometimes that would be the only time cousins would see each other, that year.
Now, we gather on or about the 4th of Julyl, at my Aunt Vicky’s, a people come from all over the country. There’s usually 50-60, and we’re all related.
5.
Mrs. G. | Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 11:41 am
I am with you that Mother’s Day is lame-and that it is a Hallmark Holiday, but I use it to exploit Mr. G. into letting me sleep in all weekend and taking me out to dinner. On Father’s Day, I scratch his back. Enjoy your Sunday!
6.
barbra | Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I really don’t care either way about Mother’s Day.
But Valentine’s Day - that one I hate. Just surprise me with something when I’m not expecting it. Showing me you love me because the date makes you feel like you have to? I’d rather not.
7.
MIME | Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I agree, it’s origins may have been noble but then Hallmark took over! At our house we celebrate Mother’s & Father’s Day but not with store-bought gifts and cards. It’s much more fun to celebrate it with simple gestures or homemade gifts. Or often the extended family gets together— though this year (after a hectic couple of past weeks) my mother declared to my sister and me, “Let’s just give each other the gift of doing our own thing this year”. Loved it.
8.
Heidi | Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 5:19 am
There’s several holidays of the like I am not too fussy about. Including Valentine’s Day (gasp!) which I find equally odd and confusing. Why are we only in love on one day a year?
Still, if someone offers me a box of chocolate for having given birth to two boys, I’m not going to slam the door in their face, you know?
Happy … Day!
Heidi
9.
Sarah | Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 11:19 am
You feel about Mother’s Day as I do about Valentine’s Day. Doesn’t make you a horrid person *lol* We do celebrate Mother’s Day here…but not with extreme fanfair. It’s an extra day for me to get a present (and I’ll take my gift card to JoAnn’s any opportunity I can *lol*)…but yes, as one with a bad relationship with my mother currently (it wasn’t always)…it is difficult being expected to honor her. But it’s on this day that I attempt to focus on the good years…before our relationship became strained. Truth be told, I do that every day…but this day I make double the effort.
Well, for you I say…have a happy Sunday! I hope it’s as peaceful for you as ALL of your Sundays
10.
Queen of the Mayhem | Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 8:47 pm
While I think you make some very interesting points….I don’t completely agree. I honor and cherish my mother everyday….but I like having a special day to make her feel special. As for me….I am all about any day that ends in me getting presents!
It is a good thing I am not selfish!
11.
Amy | Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 10:52 pm
If it makes you feel any better, I completed forgot about mothers day until, hanging out my washing at about midday, I hear the neighbours screeching Happy Mother’s Day!
Phone calls to Mum were quickly made. I sent her a card on Wed and she was very happy with it. I don’t tell her I love her enough so Mother’s Day is quite good for that. BUt definitely not buckets of presents and palaver.
12.
Domestically Challenged | Monday, May 12, 2008 at 3:22 am
Dear Jenn
So glad you shoot from the hip!
I hated Mother’s day - the enforced day of celebrating the person who made my life miserable was simply hideous.
That said, we do celebrate it now - we celebrate it with our two children and my Mother in law who is an inspiration - it’s a really lovely, happy day now!
13.
Josie | Monday, May 12, 2008 at 11:52 am
As I posted today, Mother’s Day is not a big thing for us. Normally a casual dinner at the pub.
It’s more of an excuse to all get together as we see so little of each other these days.
14.
Kristin | Monday, May 12, 2008 at 8:40 pm
I think of Mothers’ Day like I think of birthdays. A day to remember to mention to someone special that you’re glad they’re part of your life.
Of course I love and honor my mother every day of the year (as my kids do with me) but having a day when the kids make it their purpose to be with us–espcially now that 2 are grown and gone–is an awfully nice way to spend a Sunday : )