Archive for October, 2007

Ennui

What to do while printing 1,256 envelopes:

  • read blogs
  • wrap Christmas presents (only because I need more space in my secret gift hiding spot)
  • read more blogs
  • tidy my wrapping paper and ribbons and whatnot
  • comment on blogs
  • mend
  • read new blogs
  • straighten my office
  • read more blogs

What I didn’t do while printing 1,256 envelopes:

  • clean the mess of papers and files on my desk.

What I wanted to do while printing 1,256 envelopes:

  • take a nap

I had to stay close to the printer because the envelope tray only holds 25 at a time. Yes, you read that correctly. At least the printing is done. Now I get to stuff 1,256 invitations to the choral group’s Christmas concerts. Yes, I know I could farm this out to a mailing service, but I’ve had some quality control problems and would rather do the job myself and know that it’s been done properly.


7 comments Wednesday, October 31, 2007

No, we’re not at all excited about Halloween


5 comments Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!!!





Thanks to Crazy Aunt Laura for sending these to me!


4 comments Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Jentacular Tuesday

Today you get random bits and pieces from my life:

The girls have been complaining mightily about walking to school this week. All because the temps are around 30 in the morning (that’s -1 Celsius for the non-USA folks) and apparently that’s just TOO DAMN COLD for my thin-blooded children. We haven’t pulled out the heavy coats yet, but I have bundled the girls in fleece jackets and sweaters, so it’s not like I’ve sent them to Everest Base Camp with only shorts and t-shirts. I’m sure Graceful and Elegant are going to grow up and tell their kids, “When I was a kid, I had to walk five miles to school in the freezing cold, without a heavy coat OR gloves…”

Elegant wore tights today for the first time since last winter. Apparently she’s grown a lot because the crotch kept slipping to her knees, which we all know is quite uncomfortable, and meant that she spent a lot of time grabbing at herself as we walked this morning. I hope the teacher doesn’t fuss at her for being obscene today. Time to get new tights.

Yesterday I finally got to meet a fellow blogger for the first time. Marijean lives near me, yet we somehow never crossed paths until we decided that a coffee visit was a must. I had so much fun that I want to take it on the road and meet each and every one of you. I could crisscross the U.S. and Canada in a Winnebago meeting all my favorite e-friends. (Of course that won’t work for my e-friends in England, Australia, and New Zealand.) We’ll call it “Jenworld — Road Trip ‘07″ and I could ask for chocolate companies to sponsor me.

Speaking of visits, Lori popped by my house for a quick surprise visit this weekend while she was in town. We hadn’t seen each other in a few years, so it was great to see her and her husband. We email regularly and, when we do get to visit, it’s like no time has passed at all. That’s the kind of friend we all need in our lives.

I finally finished Elegant’s R2D2 costume yesterday. I only stapled my finger once, which is a personal best for me.

Speaking of Halloween, I am ready for the onslaught of moochers trick-or-treaters. We have about a half ton of treats. I’ve learned that the secret to not eating it all in advance is to buy stuff that I don’t like. I hope the neighbor kids like radishes and turnips.

The word of the day: jentacular (jen-TAK-yuh-luhr) adjective
1. relating to breakfast - “The Gentleman loved to hold that crackling rectangle in front of his face (folded, of course, into courteous fourths), loved the slant of the jentacular sun, the slightly acrid odor of the newsprint, the snappy headlines.”
2. fabulosity relating to Jen - “Jen’s latest blog entry was just jentacular.”

Yeah, I totally made up that second part. ‘Cause I’m sure no one noticed. Thanks to Suzanne for enriching my lexicon.

And finally, here’s a photo of my hair color:


This is after I’ve washed my hair four times and have seen lots of brown go down the drain, so I’m making progress in the “the Hair God’s going to kill me, so I need to wash some of this shit out” department. I have done an extreme close-up so that you can see how my hair is darker than my eyebrows. Yes, I know I could darken my eyebrows, but given my ineptitude with makeup, I’m sure I’d end up looking like Kelly Osbourne channeling Joan Crawford and that is NEVER good. Next thing you know, I’d be beating small children with coat hangers, so let’s just nip that possibility in the bud.

And that concludes Tuesday’s randomocity.


18 comments Tuesday, October 30, 2007

To dye or not to dye, part 2

I finally took the plunge and colored my hair for the first time yesterday.

I went with a brown henna, one that Blackbird talked about this summer. I chose it for two reasons:

  1. I wanted something that would fade with time and not show roots. I don’t have much gray now, but I will eventually and I don’t ever want to have to deal with roots if I can help it. (Wishful thinking, I know.)
  2. I try to avoid bringing harsh chemicals into the house because of Graceful’s Tourette Syndrome. The research on whether or not chemicals can worsen tics is incomplete, but I’m not taking any chances, so an organic hair color is a must.

Oh, and this henna? Super easy, which is important because I am completely and totally incompetent where hair and make up are concerned. I kid you not. This is just one of those areas in which I am ignorant and unskilled. I know I could learn, but it’s just not my thing. I suspect that one day in the future Elegant is going to look at me and say, “You mean you’ve never waxed your brows?!? My god, you are just so old fashioned!” (For the record, I have naturally fab brows that need minimal care.)

As for the color, I went with chocolate brown, which I thought would be close to my real color. I really and truly only want to cover the 17 gray hairs that shine like Christmas lights on my head, not test out the theory that blondes have more fun.

Plus! Think about it. CHOCOLATE brown henna. How could I resist? That’s like telling me not to buy Hershey’s shaving cream or M&M deodorant or Ghirardelli body lotion.

Here’s what I learned:

  • That chocolate brown is too damn dark. Next time, I’ll try a lighter brown. Seriously, this henna color should have been called Dark Chocolate and what I really need is Milk Chocolate. (In many ways.)
  • That Melissa, the other half of the Dynamic Duo of Shoe Shopping, is truly the greatest friend. When I called her asking if she knew how to speed up the process of removing henna from hair — getting a one month process down to, say, one day — she quickly found the necessary info online and emailed it to me.
  • That I need to slather Vaseline all over my hairline before doing this again because I spent several hours with a lovely assortment of light brown spots that yelled, “Incompetent woman who can’t color her hair without making a mess!” Luckily, an email to Blackbird provided me with ideas for fading dye from my skin. I was concerned that I might need a power sander to do the job.
  • That it wasn’t difficult to do and that I shouldn’t be afraid to take risks like this. In fact, it’s not really a risk. Yes my hair is too dark right now, but so what? I can laugh about this and it’s not permanent and it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Seriously. A botched boob job? That’s cause for concern. Hair that’s a bit too dark? No big whoop.
  • That my husband — having been gone all day and not knowing about my chemical experiment in his absence — will not notice for at least an hour and, when he finally does, is nice enough not to come right out and ask if I’m channeling Kelly Osbourne. (Better than Ozzy. I say.)
  • That women who spend two or three hours at a salon having their hair colored are GODDESSES. 45 minutes of walking around my house with a plastic bag on my head was more than enough for me.
  • That I am more vain that I care to admit to myself.
  • That I will do this again, I’m sure of it.

Best of all, as far as I can tell, my 17 gray hairs are now incognito. Sort of like I put them in Halloween costumes.

Updated Monday afternoon: I had lunch with a college student today. A 21 year old guy. The first words out of his mouth were, “Jen! What’s up with your hair?” Now, go back up a few paragraphs and re-read that part about my husband’s powers of observation.


15 comments Monday, October 29, 2007

Wish you all could have been here

Oktoberfest ‘07 was a fun, food-filled event. After days of rain, the sun came out yesterday and dried things out enough that we could have 30+ people both inside and outside. Good thing, because I can fully attest that 15 children, while much smaller than their adult counterparts, take up far more physical and auditory space.

We had a bounty of food, and the table and kitchen counters and stove top were fully loaded.

The children played outside until dinner, then ate their dinner on the back porch, and then played more. After dinner, we gave all the children glow sticks so that they could chase each other in the dark. It certainly made it easier for us adults to see them.

“Who just ran by with the green and yellow glow sticks?”

“I think it was Graceful.”

“No, Graceful has blue and purple.”

“Oh, then could it be….”

While the children were running around like a pack of wild animals, the adults were in the kitchen eating and drinking:


We had two kegs, something German and something else that was also brown and full of hops (I’m not a beer person, so the details escape me):


When we moved into the house, the original fridge conveyed. We moved it down to the basement and shortly thereafter Pete converted it into his own little brew pub. To say that it is popular with some of our friends is an understatement.

During much of the early part of the evening, little baby Ava spent her time like this:

Yes, that’s really how she slept and it was a source of amusement to a lot of people.

Once it got too dark for the children to play outside, we started a movie in the Jenworld Family Theatre, which looks like this when it’s empty:


Yes, we recently obtained actual movie seats and there is of course a story about them.

An old theater here in town closed and the seats were being given away last month. Pete saw an ad in the paper for free seats and we thought we’d check them out. For some reason we thought they’d be wooden. Instead, they were upholstered in a shiteous brown/orange/black tweed and just utterly FILTHY. Before we could even clean the seats, Pete spent some time scraping off gum from every nook and cranny. After that nasty task was done, we scrubbed every square inch of the seats, including underneath. Twice. Then, I cleaned the upholstery. Pete spent a couple of weeks designing the platform and then had the wood cut at the hardware store. It took him two evenings this week to assemble the whole shebang. We still need to stain the wood, but we’ll get around to it at some point.

So, getting back to last night, the children LOVED our little movie theater. I even bought those red and white boxes for the popcorn to give it a more authentic feel. Here’s what the screen looks like:


We’ve had the screen and AV set-up for a while, but people would just sit on the soon-to-leave-our-house sofa or on the floor. (Yes Pete that sofa is GOING as quickly as I can Freecycle it.)

So the children watched a movie while the adults hung out upstairs and ate and talked more. This is the part of our gatherings that I love because I have finished cooking and preparing food and can sit down and just enjoy my guests.

On a final note, a few weeks ago I bought Halloween t-shirts for the girls and me. Graceful’s is orange and Elegant’s is black like mine. Elegant and I wore matching head-to-toe black outfits yesterday, including our shirts:


I debated putting the photo up because I never like how I look in them and this one’s no exception. I can find about a dozen things wrong with myself, but I also know we all tend to most critical of our very own selves, myself included. But, I love the way Elegant’s smile is so big and the way she just exudes joy from her every pore.

The Oktoberfest was so much fun that we’re going to do it again and hope to make it an annual event. Now it’s time for me to focus on Halloween, because I am so not done with Elegant’s R2D2 costume.

And how did all of you spend your Saturday evenings?


11 comments Sunday, October 28, 2007

The rainmaker

Virginia is normally a wonderful place to live, with four distinct seasons and a good annual rainfall. Unfortunately, we’ve been in a drought this year and have had various water restrictions in place for a couple months.

Luckily, being the genius I am, I have discovered the secret to ending the drought.

Yay me!

Here’s the mathematical formula to make rain:

Decide to have an Oktoberfest.
+
Invite more guests than your house can comfortably accommodate.
+
Plan to buy bales of hay for seating in the backyard.
+
Figure you won’t need to do much cleaning
inside since everyone will be outside.
+
Buy dozens of glow-in-the-dark bracelets for 20+ kids
to wear while chasing each other around the yard.
=
Rain. Lots of it.

It started raining on Wednesday and didn’t stop until this morning. The sun is out now and is supposed to stay out, but the yard is a soggy boggy mess.

Crap.

I’d better start cleaning my house and moving stuff around to accommodate all those people.


6 comments Saturday, October 27, 2007

Day 3 of non-stop rain

“Let me assure you both that I have the ultimate power and authority in this house.”


3 comments Friday, October 26, 2007

How best to spend a rainy afternoon

Reading…


… and more reading…


… and even more reading…


… and, finally, reading:


8 comments Friday, October 26, 2007

Just say "cheese" dammit!

This morning I had one of those quintessential parenting experiences that made me want to repeatedly bang my head against a brick wall.

I took the girls to a photographer.

Every mother reading this just slapped her hand to her forehead and groaned in sympathy. Because we all have been there. We want perfect photos of our perfect children, so we plot and scheme and plan and connive to make it so, because BY GOD we are going to pretend for just one damn moment that our kids are always this clean and groomed and well behaved.

The reality, of course, is far different.

I spent weeks thinking about the girls’ outfits. I knew the photographer would have a white backdrop set up today, which meant the girls needed to wear complementary colors of a certain hue. No bold patterns allowed, which eliminated most of Elegant’s wardrobe. I wanted the girls to coordinate but not be identical because we don’t roll that way here in Jenworld. Pretty much the one color they both have in abundance is hot pink but I really didn’t want pink. Ultimately, I settled on red.

The girls don’t have school today, so we let them stay up late last night. It’s cold and raining — again — so getting them moving was an ordeal. They just wanted to play, not eat breakfast and get dressed. So help me, I think that Graceful was chewing each bite of her scrambled eggs at least 40 times before swallowing, as I nervously watched the clock’s hands move closer and closer to the time of our appointment.

I got Graceful and Elegant dressed in record time and everything as perfect as it’s ever going to get. I told the girls not to mess with their hair so of course Elegant immediately put on a damn crown.

I wanted to take some photos myself before we left, because how often are my girls clean, pressed, styled, and in coordinating outfits? I might as well take advantage of the situation.

I told the girls to sit on My Precious and to just smile naturally. I warned Elegant not to make any bunny ears behind her sister or she would face the Wrath of Mommy. I ordered them both not to goof off. Of course they both froze up and what I got was a whole lot of this:

Sigh…

It’s my own fault. The more tense I got, the less able they were to relax. Pete, sensing the near-eruption of my temper, stood behind me and got the girls laughing, so we ultimately ended up with a couple of good photos like this:

We finished our little pre-photography session and rushed out into the rain to get to the photographer’s studio on time. This particular person is a parent at our school and her studio is in her house a couple of blocks away. As we came to a screeching halt in front of her house, I saw a family we know leaving. The mother looked at me and said, “You look just like I did 20 minutes ago.” I knew exactly what she meant.

We walked in and Sabra, the photographer, whisked my girls off to her studio. She has found that kids are more natural and relaxed if their parents aren’t standing nearby micromanaging things. I agree, so it’s always a surprise to me when I get the proofs and see what magic Sabra has wrought. I could hear a lot of laughter, giggling, and guffawing from the next room, and Sabra told me afterward that she got some great shots of the girls interacting with each other and laughing.

As we walked out, another family we know pulled in behind us. The parents hopped out and started hustling their kids to the door. I took one look at them and said, “You look just like I did 20 minutes ago.” And they laughed in mutual understanding.


7 comments Friday, October 26, 2007

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